See's 8oz Truffle Box

Why does everyone put a "Key Lime" in their chocolate boxes these days? Maybe it's just me, but Lime flavoring isn't all that tasty, and it permeates everything.

Now, unlike my last post on chocolates, the Key Lime this time wasn't nearly as bad, but the first truffle I ate did taste faintly of lime, so I removed the Key Lime truffle from the box and allowed the other chocolates to sit before I ate them.

There's one problem with this box - I couldn't for the life of me find anything to tell me which chocolate was which. The first one I ate had a top that looked kind of like it contained coconut, but from what I can tell it was just chocolate-flavored and I have no idea what that stuff on top was. At least it tasted like chocolate, and while it wasn't anything to write home about, I don't really regret eating it. I think it might have been "Dark Chocolate Chip".

Next came one of the ones with a swirly design on top. Of course, pretty much all of these had that kind of design, so it didn't really help with identification. I think it might have been "Cafe Au Lait", but only because I don't think it was "Cafe Hazelnut".

I ate a bite of one that had a white criss-cross pattern on the dark chocolate coating. The filling was white, tart, and not readily identifiable. I think it might have been Raspberry, but again, not sure. I know it was supposed to be some kind of fruit, based solely on the acidity of the filling.

I think I'm giving up on this box. No identifying photos plus unidentifiable flavors equals not a box of chocolates I'm going to eat. I'll mail the rest to one of you if you want to take over, though!

Russell Stover's "Urban" Chocolate Box

My husband and I received this box from a relative, who is well aware that we not only adore good chocolate, but I make some damn good truffles, if I do say so myself. Apparently Russell Stover is trying for the foodie audience by offering pseudo-high end chocolates with names like "Grapefruit Ganache," "Pistachio Nougatine," and "Key Lime" (Key Lime what, exactly, they don't say). We gave them a chance, truly we did. However, I wouldn't recommend these chocolates to people who want good chocolate, or even people who like a normal Russell Stover mixed box.

First of all, when we opened the box, we were rewarded with the smell of Lime. Not a subtle lime, either, this was Lime Jell-o scent at its finest. Knowing that chocolate picks up smells rather easily, we braced ourselves for tasting what were probably now "(Lime) Espresso Truffle" and "(Lime) Sea Salt Soft Caramel."

We were not disappointed.

The first to be tasted was "Espresso Truffle." Instead of being cylindrical, as shown on the box, it was more like they had taken the normal half-spherical chocolates and put a flat decorative circle pressed on top. Not very attractive. The filling was hard and crumbly, which I'm hoping was staleness and not intentional, because ew. It tasted nothing like espresso, and nothing like chocolate. Just kind of limey and crumbly and ew.

Next came the "Grapefruit Ganache", which really means "white coating over a pink filling that tastes kind of like lime and has the texture of Crisco". Yummy.

"Pistachio Nougatine" was chewy. It still tasted somewhat limey and had little bits of what I think were pistachios, except they didn't taste like pistachios and didn't add anything to the flavor, which wasn't pistachio anyway.

Since we'd already had three lime-flavored chocolates, we decided to try the actual lime chocolate. Apparently "Key Lime" means Key Lime Cream, and for some reason it had to be bright green, even though the smell coming off this thing immediately identified it as Lime, and it was more Lime-flavored than the aforementioned Lime Jell-O. Now, I don't like Lime Jell-o, I think it tastes like cleaning supplies, and I said so as I spit it into the trash. The husband then came in, spit it out, and said "thank you. I knew I recognized the flavor but couldn't place it until you said 'cleaning products'." Yeah, that flavor was a huge mistake. Key Lime that was not.

We saved the best for last, surprisingly. Now, I've had good Sea Salt caramels before. This was not really a good sea salt caramel, but it was decent. No lime flavor (or we had completely overblown our lime taste buds), soft, smooth caramel with just enough salt to offset the sweetness. Plus, it was covered in dark chocolate. Not great, not something I'd ever crave, but it didn't offend either of us.

The "60% Cacao Dark from Ghana" is sitting in the kitchen. We decided to give it some time to let the lime dissipate before we try it. 60% is pretty weak, and I'm sure it'll just taste like off-brand dark chocolate.

Today's Lesson: Just splurge on the good stuff. Russell Stover is NOT good stuff, unless you normally eat chocolate-scented candles. It's not worth the calories or the disappointment.

Homemade Advent Calendar?

After reading this post on the beloved Tomato Nation, which led me to this article on Advent Calendars (and the crap that is called "chocolate" held within said calendars), I have decided to embark on a mission: Create a (relatively) easy-to-make homemade advent calendar.

The requirements:

• Must be reusable or recyclable. One of the things that always bothered me was the waste involved in advent calendars. If I'm going to make one and take that much time and effort, it better damn well last more than one holiday season. Otherwise, if I can recycle it fully, so be it.
  
• Must be able to hold good chocolates or small toys. None of that "heartwarming picture behind the little window" crap here. And by good chocolate, I mean good chocolate. Truffles, Lindt balls, etc. There will be no cutesy Christmas-shaped chocolates unless they are exquisite to eat as well. Toys would mean it's adaptable to children who should keep their mitts off my good chocolates.
  
• Must not involve more than maybe 30 minutes to 1 hour to assemble, barring standing in line at the craft store during the holidays behind that woman who has 15 different silk plants, none of which have tags, and who wants to haggle with the poor cashier. Go shopping in May to make this stuff, I tell ya.
• Must be easy to assemble. Not Martha-easy, I'm thinking more along the lines of "developmentally challenged monkey" easy.
  

This may not get done this year, but if you have any ideas or suggestions, I'm all ears!